random thought #73

Lately most of the doom and gloom have been locked away, but they still come out here a there, as if i was taking them for a walk in the park and then lock them up again in the basement.

I feel myself happier, but still very very confused and at the moment i know that i have to make some drastic changes in my life, again.

My only problem is if I have the courage to face the people here and tell them that i'm leaving, which i feel i don't. And that's an issue, i've always been pretty confrontational in the past, but now i seem to avoid it.

So I've set a date to talk about this and am committed to it, but in all honesty i'm scared shitless of it.

Also because i have huge doubts in myself i become very weary about what the future holds which then brings me close to a panic attack.

But it appears that fate has finally smiled upon me and lent me a hand in getting me up and making me smile again.

And i guess knowing what you don't want is half way to knowing what you want.

Stable.