random thought #57

please...
Please make me stay... Give me a reason to stay...
Right now i'm torn in half by my hopes and dreams. And i do know that half of them is, at least for the moment being, impossible.
I wish that you gave me a reason, that you could be the light at the end of this dark alley. But you won't and with reason...
Why do i need a reason? Because i need it be able to cope with this, i can't promise myself that i'll succeed either way, but i can promise myself that either way i'll try. I will give my best at making it work.
This is a fifty fifty situation. But it is kinda driving me mad, or sad at least.
And to be able to start writing in blank pages always looks promising and scary, but promising.
I forced these changes upon me because i couldn't live with who i was. Now i can, i'm not happy but i can cope.
please...