Uneven in myself, somehow me and expectations are not agreeing lately. I either end up not trying or trying too hard which undoubtedly leads to failure...
I can't seem to just enjoy, to just accept life as it is and go on dreaming about what will be, would be, was... I can't help it and it creates expectations that are more often than not too high. I wonder if i'm close to an emotional breakdown, i've been admitting that hypothesis lately. I seem to be way too unstable about myself it goes from having all the confidence and willpower in the world and feeling like myself, to looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a monster.
I've even tried a little experiment, i took a photo when i was on a high and wrote down how i thought i looked, then looked at it on a down and god did i look ridiculous... this is just maddening, my mind keeps spinning about all of this and i do know that the best option would be to just let it flow, to just live... but i can't...
To make things worse i did one of those accurate iq tests and rated way too high which meant that the person handling the results actually proposed for me to see someone.... this can't be normal....
just wish it all ended...
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