flight attempt #3 - status

I think i finally found some wings, but i can open them, close them, contemplate them, but i can't seem to be able to flap them...
I feel like i'm stuck between two worlds, between two of me...
I thought and tried to flap them a little, but i just couldn't, whenever i sensed a flag i'd either chicken out or life would throw something that i didn't expect or couldn't handle...
So although this attempt has gone further than the others in terms of inner vision and reflection, it's leaving a sour taste in my mouth...
It makes me think that my wings have 'crystalized' into wax... I remember them to be made of fire, unafraid of life's challenges and rejections, but now they just seem to melt everytime they try to move...
I'm hoping, and again see the problem i have with hope, that at least from this attempt i'll learn a lot more than from my previous ones, and so far i think i did. I need the time to sink it in, to let it brew for a couple of days when it's over and then pour it into everyday life.