random thought #34

closer...
Everyday life throws a stone at you, it's up to us to dodge it, catch it or get hit by it.
Lately I've been given, what i see as challenges, a few stones of my own. But i can't properly react to them, not because i don't know how to, or even what they are, just because i lack the confidence.
I seem to have regained some of work ability, despite not being able to be at the top of my game, at least i am doing things. This makes me happy, and also boosts my confidence.

Remember the whole thing about time? Notions of time? Damn life just makes allot more sense now that I've broken that egg, i finally understand a shitload of things, and even deal with most things better because of it, mostly because time has its ways of closing on you, of making you pay, or reward you, for what you did. And strange things happen when you apply the notion of time to most relationships or people. They evolve, fall, rise and mostly stay the same.

I have a few challenges in my hands right now. See the word challenge is important here, when it becomes a challenge it means that is something you're willing to fight for, instead of calling it a problem, issue or some other negative word. Challenge. Challenge is the right word for this moment in my life. Of course low self esteem and confidence make failure really loud, but nonetheless i think i'm gonna risk it. What's the worse that can happen?

sunspots...