random thought #26

mistakes...
Maybe it's too soon to write about this one, but i must express this part now and if more comes later the more i'll write on it.
_

I've come so close, it's almost hard to believe

When you're up close, it blinds you brilliantly

Just one rush can change your life forever

Just one push can end it all together

Why can't we learn from the plague that surrounds us

Learn from my mistakes

Learn from this mistake

Learn from our mistake

Learn from their mistakes

There's no shoulder to cry on when you have no shame

There's no finger to point when you are to blame

Open book, in my eyes shows you rain, then storming

I can't look, when covered by the nothing and the suffering

_

These aren't my words, their Phil's. This is a song i hear often. He expressed the feeling inside much better than i ever could.

Somehow i can't learn from most of my mistakes. I keep making them... over and over and over again... Phil was talking about heroin, i'm mostly talking about you, and you... i still want you...

I think that i can't learn from the mistakes that are connected with emotions, but i'm wrong, i can't learn from mistakes period.

I should write them down, and look at them everymorning so i would be aware of them. But it's a long list and i think it would be a painful first thing to see in the morning. I do keep them present in my mind. In hope that i rememeber them and don't make the same mistake yet again...

mistakes...