random thought #9

petals...
Today i realized that people are afraid of showing themselves, it's not just me. The way i saw it was, i really know someone but sometimes that person is so afraid of showing herself that she hides in a defensive barrier so thick that to the untrained eye would seem that she's really like that. Wich means that if you like and know that person you have to see trough the thick smoke.
Applying this to me meant that i had to listen to what i was to someone else. People are but a flower with petals, consider that each petal is a reaction to a situation and that you can change these petals to fit your wishes. So if i usually react like this why should i react differently?
Because people hurt you. but they also make you happy...
It's a big dealema.... Also i'm coherent with myself but most people arent... Worse people that behave in a way then change to another without explanation... this hurts... lately pain is present in most my actions and still i keep my petals intact with hope that someone will understand them and won't rip them apart... and if someone does i'll grow them back a bit different but still coherent and true. Altough i am now a bigger me and more confident i fear that my petals will change into colours i do not wish to have. This would mean that i would again be cold and when your cold your petals start falling one by one and are replaced with thorns....
Let me keep my petals...
petals...