self abhor...
I loathe myself... i was going to say too often, but i mostly loathe myself most of the time.
This has led me to self destructive behaviour in the past. I thought i had buried this long ago. But i was wrong... I has shaped it self more elegantly now, but still it's present.
I fight my self destructive behaviour on a daily basis, to fight the recklessness that is me...
In the past it was obvious, now it's camouflaged, harder for other people to see but i still feel it...
I fear that i will succumb to it, to, once again, fall into it and embrace it. I must taste it's sweet poison to feel alive, but stop it before it takes me...
Self destructive behaviour appeals to me like a lilly to a bee, so i must starve and grow out of its habit...
self...
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